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The Problems with Anime Dating


This list is not just for Card Captor Sakura, but for nearly all Shoujo anime. Enjoy!

For Girls

You will nearly always end up dating whichever guy made you the most angry the first time you met him.

He'll consider driving you crazy a courting tactic.

Just because he's now your boyfriend doesn't mean he'll loose that ability to really piss you off. Or that he'll refrain himself from using.

Your boyfriend WILL be Kidnapped.
He will then be brainwashed.
He will then try to kill you and your friends.
Going to save him will nearly get you killed in the process.
Once you have saved him, he will be ok for just long enough for your guard to drop so that he can be kidnapped all over again.

Upon occassion and for variety, rather than being kidnapped you will be told that even touching your boyfriend in a more than casual manner will bring about the end of the world. Have a nice day. :)

Girls your boyfriend shunned in the past will come back (sometimes from the grave) and try to kill you because they're bitter or still think they can win.

Anime men have a propensity for standing on poles and shouting nonsensical statements at enemies in the midst of battles. As if this is going to do anything other than briefly distract the enemy while they stare at your boyfriend and ponder the moronic comment.

If single, every third single guy you meet will be the enemy in disguise who will, of course, try to attack you.
The other two guys will be attacked by the enemy.
(The above statistics do not necessaricarly include (although they can) every 7th guy, who will be gay or all the men you thought were single but are actually dating or married.)

Your best friend will invariably want to date either you or the guy you like once you admit your feelings. This will assuredly lead to awkward moments later.

Frequently your boyfriend gets far better clothes than you do. (Take a hint from Utena, start stealing from their closets.)

Only one girl in any given group of friends is allowed to be successfully dating at the same point in time.

The guy you want to date rarely turns out to be actually human.

As soon as you have figured out who you like, someone else will profess his heartfelt adoration for you. (This happens all the way through, as long as there is some other tie getting in the way.)

The more you run away from someone, the more he'll love you. The more you chase someone, the faster he'll run away.

A slip into possibly caring for someone other than your absent/brainwashed boyfriend will immediately bring him back onto the scene and back to his senses.

Blind faith in your love will erase brainwashing, change bad guys to good, and save the world; doubt will bring utter destruction.



For Guys

Your girlfriend will be a clutz. Prepare to have you feet stepped on at least 4 times a day.

A large portion of anime girls are horrid cooks. Take small bites. And acting classes. Practice saying, "Mmmm. That's very good, Honey." in front of the mirror 100 times before you go to bed each night. (Now might be the time to invest in research regarding the development of cast iron stomachs.)

Your girlfriend will almost always have more impressive magical powers than you do.

Dating your girlfriend will automatically put you in a severely heightened risk of being kidnapped and brainwashed. Luckily, she will always save you and forgive you for trying to kill her.
Worse, You will most likely die at least once in any given series.

Your little sister or your best friend's little sister wants to date you.

Anime girls have very, very long hair in many cases. Just standing within 3 feet of one could leave an incrimating hair on your shirt for your girlfriend to find later.

Be forewarned: do not go shopping with your girlfriend. She will find everything 'kawaaaaaiii!' and you will have to carry it home. (And buy it.)

Honana!



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