The Problems with Anime Dating For Girls
You will nearly always end up dating whichever guy made you the most angry
the first time you met him. He'll consider driving you crazy a courting tactic. Just because he's now your boyfriend doesn't mean he'll loose that
ability to really piss you off. Or that he'll refrain himself from using. Your boyfriend WILL be Kidnapped. Upon occassion and for variety, rather than being kidnapped you will be
told that even touching your boyfriend in a more than casual manner will bring
about the end of the world. Have a nice day. :) Girls your boyfriend shunned in the past will come back (sometimes from the
grave) and try to kill you because they're bitter or still think they can
win. Anime men have a propensity for standing on poles and shouting nonsensical
statements at enemies in the midst of battles. As if this is going to do
anything other than briefly distract the enemy while they stare at your
boyfriend and ponder the moronic comment. If single, every third single guy you meet will be the enemy in disguise
who will, of course, try to attack you. Your best friend will invariably want to date either you or the guy you
like once you admit your feelings. This will assuredly lead to awkward
moments later. Frequently your boyfriend gets far better clothes than you do. (Take a
hint from Utena, start stealing from their closets.) Only one girl in any given group of friends is allowed to be successfully
dating at the same point in time. The guy you want to date rarely turns out to be actually human. As soon as you have figured out who you like, someone else will profess
his heartfelt adoration for you. (This happens all the way through, as
long as there is some other tie getting in the way.) The more you run away from someone, the more he'll love you.
The more you chase someone, the faster he'll run away. A slip into possibly caring for someone other than your
absent/brainwashed boyfriend will immediately bring him back onto the
scene and back to his senses. Blind faith in your love will erase brainwashing, change bad guys to
good, and save the world; doubt will bring utter destruction. For Guys
Your girlfriend will be a clutz. Prepare to have you feet stepped on at least
4 times a day. A large portion of anime girls are horrid cooks. Take small bites.
And acting classes. Practice saying, "Mmmm. That's very good, Honey." in
front of the mirror 100 times before you go to bed each night. (Now might be
the time to invest in research regarding the development of cast iron
stomachs.) Your girlfriend will almost always have more impressive magical powers
than you do. Dating your girlfriend will automatically put you in a severely heightened
risk of being kidnapped and brainwashed. Luckily, she will always save you
and forgive you for trying to kill her. Your little sister or your best friend's little sister wants to date you. Anime girls have very, very long hair in many cases. Just standing
within 3 feet of one could leave an incrimating hair on your shirt for your
girlfriend to find later. Be forewarned: do not go shopping with your girlfriend. She will find
everything 'kawaaaaaiii!' and you will have to carry it home. (And buy
it.) Honana!
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